Tag Archive: crystal meth

Using Crystal Meth; make sure it is a positive experience

The dangers of crystal meth in the gay community

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Crystal meth is one of the most widely used drugs in the gay community. It is very seductive, cheap, and sexual. The drug creates a fun and uninhibited feeling and the cost is significantly cheaper than buying drinks in a bar. These are all factors of why the narcotic has become popular in use by the gay community.

However, there are many downsides of using crystal meth. Using crystal meth can:

  • take multiple days for the body to fully recover,
  • cause memory loss, heart conditions, or psychotic behaviour,
  • make it difficult to maintain an erection,
  • make it hard to reach orgasm,
  • lead to uninhibited and risky sexual situations,
  • create a false sense of happiness, and
  • become an addiction after the first use.

While crystal meth may be seen as some as a wonder drug, giving users the chance to feel like they are having a wonderful sexual experience, it can easily make people lose themselves by chasing the high to have the sex they think they are looking for. The drug psychologically seduces the user.

People who use crystal meth on a regular basis report that is has effected their job performance, social connections, financial position, and sex lives. The hunt for crystal meth fuelled sex marathons becomes the routine goal.

The difficulty in the situation is not knowing when the addiction has set it, to the point when crystal meth takes over your life. Guys can lose themselves easily and quickly. When firm boundaries are not set users are more susceptible to get lost and start heading down the slippery slope. It’s accepted that someone might go to work a bit hung over from the previous nights escapades, but crystal meth users aren’t able to do that.

Thankfully there are treatment programs for people who need help. Finding a program that is designed for gay men is important, to be able to share and support each other along the path to recovery

– See more at: http://www.thehomoculture.com/author/billcoleman/#sthash.izn6gr3H.fdaDSKhW.dpuf

Using Drugs and Parting (part two)

Using drugs and alcohol could be a symptom of a bigger problem

Matinee Las Vegas 2015 Circuit Party

Addiction traditionally it relates powerlessness and bad behaviour, especially in the gay community. Gay men do not need any more negativity; they have enough to deal with as it is. It’s important to understand that while many gay men do drugs or drink alcohol, which is not the problem. It’s the symptom. If you only focus on the symptom and not the problem, then the problem remains unaddressed. Reasons for taking drugs or alcohol need to be understood or the opportunity to grow will be missed.

Drugs and alcohol are often used to help cope with difficult life situations. It’s a positive way to conquer fears and give an illusion or sense of control and understanding about why they are used.

Just because someone may use drugs or alcohol does not mean they have a problem. What can the problem is when substances begin to interfere with allowing yourself to be you. When your job or relationship is being hurt it’s time to take a step back and understand why drugs and alcohol are being used. Gay men especially need to find other ways to meet the needs these substances are giving them, instead of relying on them as a crutch.

As example, a young guy name Joe goes to a gay nightclub and he is nervous. He decides to bring a friend along to be more socially comfortable. Early in the evening they spend most of the time focused on each other and enjoy small talk. After a few drinks they begin to relax and the rest of the room comes into focus. Eventually smiles and eye contact begins, followed by dancing and conversations with others at the bar. It might even lead into Joe going home and having sex.

For Joe, alcohol helped him cope with his social anxiety. However, if Joe doesn’t learn how to get past his social anxiety, because the alcohol seems to do the work for him, it may become the only way Joe is comfortable in socializing with other gay men. Alcohol then becomes the solution to the problem, but years later the alcohol becomes the symptom of the real problem, which Joe never learned how to resolve in the first place.

Understanding why people use drugs and alcohol is important. The most common reason gay men use drugs and alcohol is because they have social anxiety, lack self-esteem, and have sexual inhibitions. Sometimes substance abuse is so destructive that halting or significantly reducing the use is necessary before learning how to move forward with self-examination.

Here are a few common drugs people use and the general effects each have:

  • Alcohol: Generally relaxes and lowers inhibitions. Can allow you to feel freer to express yourself.
  • Cocaine (coke): Generally gives the feeling of empowerment, strength and confidence.
  • Ecstasy (molly): Generally feel less inhibited, enjoy the sense of touch, and the feeling of connecting with others. Other feelings of increased sexuality and less stress.
  • Crystal meth: Generally inhibitions are greatly reduced. Emotional feelings with others.

– See more at: http://www.thehomoculture.com/author/billcoleman/#sthash.izn6gr3H.fdaDSKhW.dpuf

Gay Men, Sex(uality) and Crystal Meth Use

Matters of Substance

Centre for Addictions Research of BC at the University of Victoria     http://carbc2300.wordpress.com/

 

Gay Men, Sex(uality) and Crystal Meth Use

Drugs are people substitutes, people are drug substitutes¹

As a counsellor I prefer the term “drug use” rather than “addiction.” For many, addiction implies “bad behaviour” and can foster stigma and disempowerment for drug using individuals. One of the main characteristics of counselling is acceptance without judgment, especially when talking about sex with drugs. People use drugs for a reason, often to meet unfulfilled needs. Crystal meth was the most used illicit drug in the gay community during the 90s and early 2000s. While I am not an addictions specialist, about half of the gay men I see for therapy have current or past history of crystal meth problems. A common reason for gay men to use crystal meth relates to social and sexual inhibition and lack of connection to people.

Aspects of gay male subculture are dominated by sex. Within any medium size community, gay men can find sex within 10 minutes via phone apps. While such “hook-ups” frequently result in sexual release, they often do not meet their emotional needs. Many gay men struggle and cope with feelings of being different, or may have experienced various forms of abuse, and therefore question if they are lovable. Crystal may temporarily help users feel free of judgment, facilitate emotional connection with others and provide great pleasure with sexual partners.Crystal can also partially fulfill one’s sexual needs or fantasies, (i.e. engaging in “pig sex”), that otherwise might never be explored due to internal and/or external inhibitions. With reflection and support, these men often identify their desire for connectedness as the most important aspect of being high. Many report that without crystal, sex is boring because they are inhibited and cannot emotionally connect.

Crystal meth is not the problem but the symptom: the symptom of being unable to be free and spontaneous and therefore cannot connect with others. Thus, the primary goal of therapy is not to stop crystal use, but rather to assist the person in acquiring the skills needed to have uninhibited, drug-free and meaningful sex while feeling more connected with partners. This approach may require the therapist to be sexually open and sensitive to these topics in order to assist gay men to more intimately explore their sexual feelings and needs. As counsellors we need to lay the foundations of a nurturing therapeutic relationship that refrains from labels and judgments that disempower a person.  It seems with gay men and crystal use that, truly “drugs are people substitutes,” and with support, ideally “people can become drug substitutes.”

BillColeman

Author: Bill Coleman, counsellor

Biography: Most of Bill’s career has been working with criminals, primarily sexual criminals. He also works in the area of sexual health. Much of his work here has been with gay men at BC Centre for Disease Control, and many years in private practice.  He has also written for the LGBT newspaper, Xtra, on gay men and health. www.bcoleman.ca

¹  (Blachly, 1970) Seduction: A Conceptual Model in the Drug Dependencies and Other Contagious Ills, Paul H. Blachly, M.D., 1970, Charles C. Thomas, Springfield, Illinois

Gay men and Sex(uality) and Drug Use

Gay men and Sex(uality) and drug use
Drugs are people substitutes – People are drug substitutes 1

When most people talk about drug use and sex, they think of addiction. So I should preface my comments on this subject with my take on “addiction”. First of all “addiction” is not a word I use. I believe that when people use the word addiction they are only describing what they see as “bad behaviour”. We have many repetitive behaviours that we do daily and perhaps compulsively but the word addiction would not be used to describe these behaviours. Some examples of such behaviours may be: I may wish to kiss my partner every day or a few times a day and have a negative feeling if it does not happen, I may like to cuddled daily, I may enjoy a few glasses of cold water daily etc. Often when the term “addiction” is used it seems to only provide a way of describing behaviour one is critical of, the label of addiction is not helpful and does not add to understanding.
Beginning a counselling relationship without acceptance and disempowering (http://www.pearsoned.ca/highered/showcase/shebib/pdf/samplechapter_ch07.pdf) an individual is a poor way to begin a counselling relationship. (http://www.ccpa-accp.ca/blog/?p=2996 ) One of the main characteristics of counselling is acceptance without judgment. (http://infed.org/mobi/helping-relationships-principles-theory-and-practice/) Starting counselling with a label describing the person as engaging in bad behaviour can be counterproductive. This is especially true when it is implied that “the person has no control over their behaviour.
People use drugs for a reason. There is an emotional need that is being met by the drug that is being used. Given this, the best way to begin to help an individual is to explore what they get out of using the drug. The next step is to help them to find other ways of meeting those emotional needs that more fully rewarding.
One drug that is popular with many gay men is Chrystal Meth. (http://www.wehoville.com/2013/12/02/crystal-meth-gay-men-start-load-road-addiction/ ) For some of those gay men crystal meth use can be problematic. Therefore without judgment I begin to explore with gay men what emotional needs does crystal meth allow him to satisfy. It often becomes apparent that most gay guys will use crystal meth to allow them to be the “sex pig” (http://cbrc.net/resources/2013/desire-and-defiance-pig-sex-project) that they would like to be, but do not allow themselves to explore without drugs. I was once asked to do a workshop on “Pig Sex” (http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/16537 ) . (Pig sex, is like pigging out at a Christmas dinner – that is eating too much, and a bit of everything.) The main point that came out of this workshop was: “We may not have the same kinks, but I know I will not be judged”. This lack of judgment allowed for a freedom in “pigging out”. Many gay guys have sexual needs/fantasies that they cannot fulfill without crystal meth. The use of that drug allows a person to explore many aspects of sexuality that may not be explored without some drug use, due to of internal and/or external inhibitions. It follows then that part of the motivation for crystal meth use may be because of sexual inhibition, and fear of judgment. If this true, than the goal is to help him to become less sexually inhibited, and be free to explore his sexual desires, without the problems caused by drug use. (I would suggest the therapist also must NOT be sexually inhibited.)
In addition many gay guys who use crystal meth are often looking for a feeling of being emotionally connected (at least for the moment) with the other guy(s). Many gay men grow up denying their sexual and emotional feelings. This denial of sexual and emotional feelings often happens because as the gay guy is growing up he will often have feeling of being different than other boys, of “not belonging”, and also questioning if they are lovable if parents and others knew they were gay. This sense of separation, being different, and questioning if they are lovable has a profound on most gay men.
Given that crystal meth allows a gay man to achieve feelings of connectedness, sexual openness and a feeling of freedom from judgment, it is not surprising that many gay men would be attracted to use crystal meth. Many gay men find great pleasure in what crystal meth can bring them. It is only because crystal meth is meeting these deep personal needs of a gay man that he uses this drug again and again and again. Often crystal meth users do not know of another way to feel sexually free and emotionally connected. Therefore, the goal is not, to stop crystal meth use, but to find ways to be sexually uninhibited and emotionally connected with other gay men. Stopping or reducing crystal meth use may be a byproduct of a happier more fulfilled life.
Craig Sloane reports that “By using gay affirmative treatment,” and “Promote self-acceptance, create safe and non-judgmental environments. We have to set up treatments that don’t pathologize gay sex.” (http://www.addictionpro.com/article/crystal-meth-and-its-use-among-gay-men )
Counsellors need to begin laying the foundations of a nurturing therapeutic relationship that refrains from labels and judgments that disempower a person. The therapist must recognize that drug use is meeting a person needs. Explore those needs and seek alternative ways of meeting those needs if drug use if problematic.

1. (Blachly, 1970) Seduction: A Conceptual Model in the Drug Dependencies and Other Contagious Ills, Paul H. Blachly, M.D., 1970, Charles C. Thomas, Springfield, Illinois

 

Most of my career has been working with criminals, and much of that with sexual criminals, I also work in the area of sexual health.  Much of my work has been with gay men at BC Centre for Disease Control, and in private practice.  I wrote a column in the local gay newspaper, Xtra, on gay men and health.  I tend to see the “problem behaviour that is presented” as the symptom,  (for example:  Sex, drug use, violence etc.) the goal is to discover what are the many facets that are pushing that behaviour.  Gay men have generally grown up emotionally alone, afraid of discovery, being taunted-bullied or teased with a constant fear of rejection from parents, family, friends, and classmates, this provides a unique obstacles later in life. (For more info: www.bcoleman.ca)